Christmas
week 1985 I was shadowing a community psychiatric nursing sister with
her caseload in the deprived and depressing northern town of Runcorn.
Through
a succession of faceless maisonettes, we sat on grubby sofas and
listened to sad stories of loneliness, mental illness and substance
abuse and I watched as my mentor tried her best to keep heads above
water and bums out of the local psychiatric unit.
The last visit of the day was to a woman called Jean.
Jean
lived alone in the top of a ten story complex. She had suffered from
severe mental health problems for forty years and had recently been
placed in her home from long term psychiatric care only a few months
before.
I remember her flat very well. There was no carpet in the
hall and the living room but there was a tiny white tinsel Christmas
tree standing on top of a large black and white tv. A homemade fabric
stocking was hung on the fire surround and just two Christmas cards
were perched on the mantle.
( one of those cards having been sent by
my colleague) The flat was sparse but incredibly clean and it was
evident that Jean had been waiting for our visit all day.
In
mismatching cups we were offered coffee with powdered milk and a single
mince pie served on a paper plate and I remember sharing a sad glance
with the nurse when Jean presented us both with gifts hastily wrapped in
cheap Christmas paper. My gift was two placemats with photos of cats on
them. The nurse received a small yellow vase, and I remember Jean
beaming with delight when we both thanked her effusively for her
kindness.
When we washed up our own cups, the nurse quietly checked
the fridge, noting that several of the shelves were empty . There was a
calender on the wall with the note " NURSE COMES TODAY" written on that
day's date. Nothing else was written on it until the week of new year's
eve, where the same sentence was written.
It was the very first time
that I had experienced someone who was so totally isolated in a
community setting and it shocked me to the core.
I
listened as the nurse talked about medication, as I waited patiently
and when she took Jean into the bedroom to administer a regular
injection I noticed a carrier bag which the nurse had tucked away by the
side of the arm chair shortly after we arrived. In it was a package of
cold meat, milk , bread and what looked like chocolates and a cake.
Before
we left, we let Jean monopolize her only conversation of the week and
as she retrieved our coats, I watched and grew a few years older as the
nurse silently slipped a five pound note behind one of the cards on the
mantle.
Posted on John Going Gently Blog
too much sadness
out there
crippling alonesss
suffered by too many
there are a few angels
who make a difference
and through their kindness
love and generosity
make this world
a better place
God bless them