Prompt...image 'Shotgun Blast' by Shane Gorski chosen by Andre Tan.
Every poem written to this prompt and submitted to RWP this week will earn a food donation
for the charity 'Hopelink'
This is my first religious poem and I'm dedicating it to Paul Oakley who writes religious poems and has a vast knowledge of biblical studies and theology.
Camels and Needles
A stale peace
tinged with sadness permeates
this deserted sanctuary
with graffiti reminiscent
of frescoes in a chapel
A sunray beams through an arch
gold ostensorium in the tabernacle
blessing the rubbled rubbish
home to the rejected alienated
the losers and for many just
one missed pay cheque away
And did those feet in ancient times
walk in the palaces of prelates
or defer to the powerful and
publicised philanthropists
And did those feet
sack workers before Christmas
sink ankle deep into
soft pile carpet
at a charity ball
seize a photo opportunity
with a beggar
or grovel to a slum landlord
made knight of the realm
for tax deductible donations to the needy
Wonderful
charismatic
Counsellor
non conformist
counter culturalist
the Mighty God
a poor jewish child
the Everlasting Father
born homeless to an odd couple
the Prince of Peace
has left his footprints here
Very beautifully thought out and a great truth here...
ReplyDeleteI wrote a "religious" one also, but very short. Hope your holiday was lovely!
Beautiful, rallentanda! And thanks for the wonderful dedication (though it exaggerates my knowledge)!
ReplyDeleteI love the way you tie the Christmas story in with contemporary economic realities and crescendo with the beautiful paradoxes that are central to the story.
I am particularly taken by these lines:
And did those feet
sack workers before Christmas
sink ankle deep into
soft pile carpet
at a charity ball
Powerful!
Wonderful
ReplyDeleteCounsellor
the Mighty God
the Everlasting Father
the Prince of Peace
This is the last section of the chorus from
'For Unto Us A Child Is Born' from
The Messiah By Handel
It can be viewed on you tube.Recommended
version The Winchester Cathedral Choir
4 mins 6 secs
A lovely piece and creatively assembled. Not being familiar with "The Messiah", I appreciate you notation about that part of the poem. They sort of set me aside at first, then reread again, and yes, they did join and resolve the tension of the first section of the poem. Then your comment made it all the easier to understand.
ReplyDeleteActually, even before that last moment, those ending words were taking on a musical sense for me - something large and brass, although calm as well. Interesting!
Thank you for this poem rallentanda.
thanks for noting the messiah reference. it was familiar, but I couldn't remember.
ReplyDeletethat ends it beautifully. I, too, like that "sack workers" section. It's just startling enough without jarring
I loved the Handel's Messiah reference, a wonderfully brilliant, seasonal touch! The difference between "acting like you care" and really caring about the needy, is personified by your poem because a donation will be made to the food bank. Sad but poignant insights. Thank you for sharing, Rallentanda. May the coming year enfold you in love and bliss, my dear! =D
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your poem. My favorite line was,
ReplyDelete"A sunray beams through an arch
gold ostensorium in the tabernacle
blessing the rubbled rubbish"
So descriptive and touching. Happy New Year!
Hi Rall!
ReplyDeleteThe whole poem was shining, but I found especially fascinating the addendum from Isaiah and its contrasts. Cool!
A powerful piece that rings of the truth that binds the old to the new. Beautifully done!
ReplyDeleteThankyou once again for your encouraging words
ReplyDeleteand comments.This little band of poets has enhanced my life and is the reason I write as much poetry as I do.For this I am extremely grateful and I wish you all a Happy New Year
and lots of ectastic joy( the type of tying yourself to a comet string cavorting about the sky joy.) Let's leave peace and quiet for the end!
So, you should do this more often, since you're so GOOD at it! I love the mixture of familiar and formal language and image. Excellently done.
ReplyDeletenicely done Rall...and nicely dedicated to Paul...cheers and health for 2010
ReplyDeleteHow fittingly dedicated to Paul! I think this is beautiful, and your poem takes quite a powerful turn at the end.
ReplyDelete