This is a small gem of a poem – gentle, affectionate, and delicately crafted. Working within the constraints of a double cinquain, I found the poem delivers emotional warmth with admirable economy. The repetition across the two stanzas mirrors the bird’s daily return, creating a soft rhythm of reassurance. I like the interplay between the everyday and the spiritual here: a real bird, perhaps, but also a symbolic presence. It's drawn not by habit, but by an intuitive recognition of kindness and soul. While it doesn’t explicitly follow the “delayed abstract noun” structure of the prompt, the final words of each stanza—soul and love—function as quiet revelations. I definitely appreciated the adroit manipulation of the prompt. Soul and love rise naturally from the preceding lines, like the bird’s gentle landing. There’s nothing forced or overly ornate here. There's just a sense of quiet truth, as if the poem itself were a small act of recognition and care.
What a lovely photo! Thank you for your kind words.
ReplyDeleteRall, I really like how these verses feel warm without being overly sentimental.
ReplyDeleteMuch love,
David
SkepticsKaddish.com
This is a small gem of a poem – gentle, affectionate, and delicately crafted. Working within the constraints of a double cinquain, I found the poem delivers emotional warmth with admirable economy. The repetition across the two stanzas mirrors the bird’s daily return, creating a soft rhythm of reassurance. I like the interplay between the everyday and the spiritual here: a real bird, perhaps, but also a symbolic presence. It's drawn not by habit, but by an intuitive recognition of kindness and soul.
ReplyDeleteWhile it doesn’t explicitly follow the “delayed abstract noun” structure of the prompt, the final words of each stanza—soul and love—function as quiet revelations. I definitely appreciated the adroit manipulation of the prompt. Soul and love rise naturally from the preceding lines, like the bird’s gentle landing. There’s nothing forced or overly ornate here. There's just a sense of quiet truth, as if the poem itself were a small act of recognition and care.
Thank you for this well considered response. Your written expression is impressive.
ReplyDeleteI like this take. Boiled it down to its essence.
ReplyDeleteThis was so touching. And offering us the photo of the little object of your affection really brought it full circle.
ReplyDeletehi, Rall❣️
ReplyDeleteJust wanna let you know that this week's W3, hosted by the wonderful Violet Lentz, is now live:
W3
Enjoy 😁
Much love,
David
SkepticsKaddish.com