POW PROMPT 5
I thought this poem would be a bit of a giggle but again it wrote itself and turned into something a little more serious.
MAID MARION
Her mistress was dead
The ticking clock seemed louder than usual
A feeling of dread and premonition seized her tight
Ralston would soon take over the estate
Breakfast tray to his room
could lead to the very worst
Look at silly Milly on Freddy footman's knees
She'll doubtless be the first with her wicked walk
rosy lips and blonde tendrils peeking from her cap
Cook is too old to keep an eye out anymore
Hush talk of the scullery maid's fate was a warning
to young pretty maids who take the Master's fancy
All ears are deaf to muffled cries
eyes are lowered with thoughts of relief
at escaping the butcher's block for the moment anyway
Without choice, family nor reference painted pox face life
in the lane with skirts hitched up to the waist awaited
Marion decided then and there to set her cap at Wilton
a dour decent stick already first footman
bound for butlership with a little set by for his dream
of a tea shop in the village
His trembling hands fumbling with trays
feint blushes and gaucheness whenever
she was present were all pertinent signs
of his amorous inclination
It would not take her long to curl him around her little finger
and lure him to the altar
Marion had learnt from an early age that
Feelings were only for the fortunate
I thought this poem would be a bit of a giggle but again it wrote itself and turned into something a little more serious.
MAID MARION
Her mistress was dead
The ticking clock seemed louder than usual
A feeling of dread and premonition seized her tight
Ralston would soon take over the estate
Breakfast tray to his room
could lead to the very worst
Look at silly Milly on Freddy footman's knees
She'll doubtless be the first with her wicked walk
rosy lips and blonde tendrils peeking from her cap
Cook is too old to keep an eye out anymore
Hush talk of the scullery maid's fate was a warning
to young pretty maids who take the Master's fancy
All ears are deaf to muffled cries
eyes are lowered with thoughts of relief
at escaping the butcher's block for the moment anyway
Without choice, family nor reference painted pox face life
in the lane with skirts hitched up to the waist awaited
Marion decided then and there to set her cap at Wilton
a dour decent stick already first footman
bound for butlership with a little set by for his dream
of a tea shop in the village
His trembling hands fumbling with trays
feint blushes and gaucheness whenever
she was present were all pertinent signs
of his amorous inclination
It would not take her long to curl him around her little finger
and lure him to the altar
Marion had learnt from an early age that
Feelings were only for the fortunate
Eliot can lead us to strange places. I like the metaphor of the ticking clock, and the matter-of-fact calculation in the final stanza.
ReplyDeleteI never did watch Upstairs/Downstairs. As a Yank I think it's in my nature to disdain tales of British manors with their maids and servants (Thomas Paine prejudiced me), despite hearing good things about it.
Here's my poem:
Ventriloquism gone awry
I love this, Rall, it made me nostalgic for Upstairs Downstairs and all those wonderful period TV series. And what a fabulous last line.
ReplyDeleteIs it Wednesday yet in Oz? I have to go out in the morning, so can I put mine here yet?
ViV
Rall, some of both I think. I like the conjured image of a wicked walk in those otherwise stifling uniforms. Also, I got a hit of Marion's practical sensibilities and class consciousness in the final lines; repression can cause some to feel as though feelings are a birthright.
ReplyDeleteI'm on board for this week in
Auntie's Dining Room, at
http://jdmackenzie.blogspot.com/2010/06/aunties-dining-room.html
I like the serious tone in this, reminds us that it wasn't all 'Upstairs, Downstairs'.
ReplyDeleteThose who have a place, have choices. Those who know their place just have to make the right one. Advantage, disadvantaged Marion...
ReplyDeleteHere's mine: O.T.T
mmmmmm Ralston mmmmmmm
ReplyDeleteIs Marion aware that Alis, the gardener's girl, has begun to bloom? Wilton is gardener's wife's second cousin's brother-in-law, you know. Just sayin.
Mine came through some indirect routes, but it's still called Tom's Dresden Clock
Viv you hve posted your poem in the wrong section.
ReplyDeleteI agree Madame. Servants could work up to 17 hours a day for a pittance and often slept in cupboards and under stairs.They were taught to avert their eyes and be invisible when the family was present. Pregnant(sometimes raped) servant girls were dismissed without a reference forcing them into the workhouse or prostitution. It was a very hard life.
ReplyDeletewow, nice write. it did take a somber turn there in the end -- feelings are for the fortunate. too true in too many cases.
ReplyDeletemine is "ticking" -- hopefully in my name.
Rall
ReplyDeleteI never watched Upstairs Downstairs. I have never been much of television series person.
This definitely started off light and went to the darkside.I love what you did! The maids here in Mexico are still like you mentioned above. They work for about 30 pesos an hour which is about 2 dollars and 50 cents. Ok well that said ...
Thanks for a great prompt!
Pamela
http://flaubert-poetrywithme.blogspot.com/2010/06/bombing-factory-pow-prompt-5.html
You're a lovely diversion from watching the underwater oil spill cam in the Gulf. Thank you for that. Loved this line, "in the lane with skirts hitched up to the waist awaited," but I was enthralled with the total class theatrical. "Marion had learnt from an early age that / Feelings were only for the fortunate" Absolutely.
ReplyDeleteMy much shorter ditty is here: http://lindagoin.com/2010/t-s-eliot-and-dresden-clocks.html
As usual I am confused! Where is the right place to post my poem?
ReplyDeleteViV
What a lovely comment Linda!It's Goin' straight to my head.
ReplyDeleteThe above pictures are from a movie called
'Gosford Park'.
If you like period pieces
'The Duchess' is another good one...
magnificent to look at and great social commentary on the servile situation of women.
'Tom and Viv' is a good autobiography about T S Eliot. If you see them let me know what you think?
Pamela, even in the 21st century this is still happening in many parts of the world. The concept of marrying well is still prevalent in our society which is sort of a selective breeding programme.
ReplyDeleteI'd better try and put mine here: http://vivinfrance.wordpress.com
ReplyDeletePhew, Marion sure knows how to do it!
ReplyDeleteHere's mines: Pushing Daisy
Hi Rall,
ReplyDeleteQuite an estate you've got going there! So many shenanigans. The last line says everything. Fabby pics too.
Here's mine:
http://melrosemusings.blogspot.com/2010/06/dresden-clock-pow-5.html
Just researched some info about Cromwell Babs. What a bastard!Interesting.Glad they dug him up from Westminster Abbey and hung his remains from the gallows. The Irish must have cheered!
ReplyDeletePuritans eh!
One of the things I like about poetry sites is
discovering interesting info. Social as well as
informative.
Had fun creating a world for the Eliot bit that I was unfamiliar with....
ReplyDeletehttp://mypoeticlicense.wordpress.com/2010/05/29/keepers-of-secrets/
- Dina
Well done, Rall ... reminds me of a Catherine Cookson or Victoria Holt novel, the ones where there was always a spirited young servant girl at the mercy of the lecherous master! And your pin-ups are pretty fab!
ReplyDeleteI haven't written mine yet ...
We went for a similar theme. I like your last line.
ReplyDeleteMine is here: http://thelaughinghousewife.wordpress.com/2010/06/02/women-are-from-venus-men-are-nuts/
Thanks Marianne. Will do a more serious prompt for next week...don't want to get too flouncy and flowery!
ReplyDeletethanks for prompt Rall....here is mine POW#5
ReplyDeletehttp://waynepitchko.blogspot.com/2010/06/dresden-clock.html
Rall -- your description of servant women in the comments struck me. In the states, that description could fit a number of women, none of them servants, but in servitude to an impression that they are not worth more.
ReplyDeleteI'll be sure to check out Tom and Viv! Thnx.
Oh we have that here too Linda!
ReplyDeleteYou all seemed to enjoy the prompt this week..can't have too much of this easy peasy stuff so next week Miss Pommeroy will choose a more challenging prompt. Someting a little more exacting in the grey matter department.
ReplyDeletePuff ... puff ... am I too late? Here's my poem for Prompt #5.
ReplyDeletehttp://herwordsbloomed.blogspot.com/2010/06/pow-5-prompt-ts-elliot-poem.html
Meant to add that I adored Upstairs-Downstairs and watched every episode recently, renting them back-to-back from Netflex, sort of an Upstairs-Downstairs marathon. It was awesome!!!
ReplyDeleteLucky Marianne ! Get 'The Duchess'with Keira Knightley ...you'll love it! We don't have netflex yet here at the bottom of the world!
ReplyDeleteDue to my busiest week in years I am coming late to the comments. I wanted to comment on angie's poem, 'Ticking' but I couldn't leave a comment on her site; I hope it's okay to leave it here.
ReplyDeleteAngie, I love what you did, how you showed us all the different kind of timepieces. I like the way the poem comes full circle, like a clock face, and time itself.
http://thelaughinghousewife.wordpress.com