poetry jam
dverse oln
thoughts on a train ride
poor Anna
all the yearning
all the exquisite pain
blissful melting moments
teetering
on the brink of paradise
all the missing you
missing you
clickety clack
missing you
clickety clack
clickety clack
this grand passion
was it worth it?
death by torture
ending up
wearing a train as a hat
In your writing I can definitely hear the rhythm of the train as it rolls over the tracks.
ReplyDeleteAh that's good...I was hoping I would convey that. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteTrains can be beasts taking away life if one wills to give it...'clickety clack' tolls the
ReplyDeletedeath knell....
Nice rhythm!
ReplyDeleteRhythm that captures the magic of the train. Nicely done
ReplyDeletevery nice!
ReplyDeleteI like how the thoughts and the train sounds mingle in your poem as they do in real life.
ReplyDeleteOuch.. all that pain indeed.. and trains.. those menacing beasts..
ReplyDeleteOh yes, I had forgotten how Anna K threw herself under a train! Creative direction on this prompt! I like the rhythm of this poem.
ReplyDeleteI like this one a lot . . . the clickity clack and death by a train as a hat.
ReplyDeleteLove this! I am there in the clickety clacks-clickety clacks. And then: wearing a train as a hat. Yep! Absolutely, that is the kind of place my mind would go to (and carry me along) when left in quiet contemplative thought on a train ride. Spectacularly well done - and FUNNY!!!
ReplyDeleteYour wit, modernism, and sense of waste is all tied framed together here in one strong image.
ReplyDeletepowerful!
ReplyDeleteThat eternal question, was it worth it? Great rhythm and your wonderful subtle wit. The train a beginning and an end--well done!
ReplyDeleteOh dear ... poor Anna. Her ticket to paradise and her ticket out ... neat take on the prompt!
ReplyDelete