restlessly they rise up
a cloud of flowers
Basho
Carpe Diem Haiku Kai
butterflies and birds
birds and the bees time for
a little chat
restlessly they rise up
hormones pumping youth
champing at the bit
a cloud of flowers
descends as a halo when
they discover love
After middle school and high school - that's for sure. I've about had it to here with the relationships my girl's friends have. For the most part, mine are focused on school - thank goodness. Yes, when true love happens, it is like a sweet halo of flowers ... although my husband isn't the romantic type, he is sincere and kind.
ReplyDeleteChildren focused on school and a sincere and kind husband... you are blessed. Good for you !
DeleteTesting... have tried often to leave a comment. Usually get a response saying "unable to deliver" on my email. Thought I would test this.
ReplyDeleteWoo...you've made it !:)
DeleteRall, as usual very sweet lines.
ReplyDeleteDaring, to take on the great Basho – and such a neat idea, to riff off each of his lines in turn. A sweet tale, and sweetest of all in the final verse. (Do go back to mine to see my reply to your comment there.)
ReplyDeleteThis is a prompt from Carpe Diem Haiku Kai. Kristjaan Pannemann ( the blog owner ) invented this form called the Troiku. I read your reply..nice to encounter someone with humour...I don't think it's an Aussie thing.
DeleteNot sure that's what Basho was thinking...:) :) Nice tangent!
ReplyDeleteYou could be right..I'm not good at thinking in Japanese:)
DeleteLove the Troiku, you fleshed out Basho in a very modern way, though I suspect love has always been that way.
ReplyDeleteInteresting take on the prompt. Nice!
ReplyDeleteBeautifully Romantic .. and I like how you brought the poem into our age ... very nice. Bastet
ReplyDeleteI have teenagers in the house so there are a lot of those hormones flying about peppered with those little chats! lol
ReplyDeleteThis made me smile!
ReplyDeleteThis is so adorable, reminds me of the youths who call our helpline. Truly lovely!
ReplyDeleteA beautiful troiku. I have read several troiku starting with this same haiku by Basho and they are all so different ... nice way of creating your poem
ReplyDelete