Aimless Love - Billy Collins
An Erasure Poem
An Erasure Poem
This morning as I walked along the lake shore
I fell in love with a wren
In the shadows of the autumn evening
I fell for a seamstress
still at her machine in the tailor's window
This is the best kind of love I thought
without unkind words without suspicion
no waiting, no huffiness or rancor
just a twinge now and then for the wren
No lust, no slam of the door
my heart is propped up in a field
on a tripod ready for the next arrow
I found myself standing at the bathroom sink
gazing down affectionately at the soap
I could feel myself falling again
as I felt it turning in my wet hands
and caught the scent of lavender and stone
OMG, this is incredible. Man. Wow. Shebang. This is fantastic work. And SO true. This is why so many people "fall in love" with their pets. The relationship can't be marred with words or intentionally unkind actions ... usually. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you.
DeleteThis is a stunning erasure poem.
ReplyDeleteGlad you enjoyed this one. Thank you:)
Delete"my heart is propped up in a field
ReplyDeleteon a tripod ready for the next arrow "
thought this was quite witty
much love...
Thanks Gillena.
DeleteI don't know which I prefer - the original or the erasure poem - they are both totally off the wall and fascinating.
ReplyDeleteYes Billy and I do tend to be slightly elsewhere in the head LOL
DeleteI love Billy Collins. Really nice condensation of his poem.
ReplyDeleteYES! This is my Poem of the Week! I LOVE "My heart is propped up in a field / on a tripod ready for the next arrow." And that whiff of lavender and stone. WOWZERS!
ReplyDeleteI like the image of the woman sitting at her sewing machine.
ReplyDeleteAww man that last verse tho
ReplyDeleteI can't tell you how much I love this Poem! Especially the heart on a tripod in a field waiting for the next arrow....and falling in love with the Soap! Gorgeous!
ReplyDeleteA happy Sunday to you Talk, thanks for dropping by my 🍁🌻🌺 Sunday Standard #4 today
ReplyDeleteMuch love...
Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous ❤️
ReplyDeleteThat last verse hit me like a stone - powerful poem Rallentanda
ReplyDeleteInteresting form... I like it :)
ReplyDeleteZQ
We have so much wonderful visions about us everywhere urging us to write them down or sing them out aloud. This is so beautiful Rall. Yes, I listened to the full reading first but loved your version as well.
ReplyDeleteI would call this an excerpt from Billy Collins poem, an exercise that cuts and preserves verses. It's powerful, it simplifies, but it's still his thoughts.
ReplyDeleteMy aim was to crystalise Billy Collin's thoughts.
DeleteI think you have succeeded in that. It is like a revision.
DeleteI love found poetry...wonderful...
ReplyDeletewow..how amazing!
ReplyDeletei adore erasure poetry. you worked this exceptionally well.
also really love that photo with the huge moon along the horizon.
thank you for the Billy Collins reading.
ReplyDeleteI've never encountered an "erasure poem" before. Fascinating!
ReplyDeleteA very cool poem and a smart one. Loved it!
ReplyDelete