Rallentanda

Rallentanda

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Risk


Should I jump or not?
Seems a shame to turn back now
Leave teddy behind

Give it one more shot
If you fall you are finished
If not,you're home free

Go for it they said
over and over again
encouraging her

She listened to them
but suspected their motives
and prepared for death
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16 comments:

  1. Brian MillerDecember 17, 2011 at 4:42 PM

    nice...i see your sinister quality that you were pointing out...life is risk...you though have to choose the ones you take by listening to your own voice...not another...smiles.

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  2. lucychiliDecember 17, 2011 at 5:13 PM

    this reminds me of the film Ponette where she is trying not to step in the burning lava. we are intrepid when we are small =)

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  3. AnonymousDecember 17, 2011 at 6:14 PM

    "She listened to them
    but suspected their motives
    and prepared for death"

    Ha ha ha! So true. :)

    Poor Teddy.

    ~Shawna (rosemarymint.wordpress.com)

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  4. teraDecember 17, 2011 at 6:22 PM

    Wow. Very nice. You are right to see the slightly sinister, which definitely was my intention. :)
    Awesome. Thanks!

    tera

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  5. Maxwell Mead Williams Robinson BarryDecember 17, 2011 at 8:08 PM

    deep, balanced write.

    Glad to see her being well prepared.

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  6. ClaudiaDecember 18, 2011 at 12:58 AM

    wow..rather chilling ending..love the depth in here..

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  7. Isabel DoyleDecember 18, 2011 at 1:10 AM

    Never trust others' motivations, I say.

    Lovely waratah - and is that a basket of chokos free to a good home? No, maybe mangoes ...

    Best wishes for the coming year.

    Isabel x

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  8. rallentandaDecember 18, 2011 at 1:21 AM

    Nothing free here Isabel. Restaurant called the
    'Boathouse" at Palm Beach. When you're in Sydney again check it out.

    Ah memories of the quintessential aussie choko vine covering the hills hoist or the corrugated iron fence in a thousand degree heat...geez luv I bet ya miss that!

    Enjoy your hols and best wishes to you also for the New Year
    Rall.
    X

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  9. Dave KingDecember 18, 2011 at 2:10 AM

    Dark, very dark, but well portrayed and an enjoyable, if chilling, read.

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  10. Steve KingDecember 18, 2011 at 4:43 AM

    This is memorable. The poetic moment stays throughout. That you give such depth in so few words shows great artistry and emotional grasp. Very good poem.

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  11. AnonymousDecember 18, 2011 at 9:31 AM

    oh my, is this about suicide for this little little child? how sad. :(

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  12. AnonymousDecember 18, 2011 at 9:46 AM

    so sad, about child suicide :(

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  13. rallentandaDecember 18, 2011 at 2:28 PM

    This poem is not about child suicide Zongrik.
    This poem is about knowing your limitations.

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  14. AnonymousDecember 18, 2011 at 8:38 PM

    Oh I think it's very like a child's way of thinking--the drama of the inner child. Wonderful. K.

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  15. anthonynorthDecember 19, 2011 at 12:53 AM

    A most chilling ending. Excellent.

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  16. VictoriaDecember 19, 2011 at 11:51 AM

    I very much like where you went with this. It is eerie (as was, for me, the picture) but you've used it to teach a powerful lesson.

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