Rallentanda

Rallentanda

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

A Dream Within A Dream



 carpe diem,poetry jam, three word wednesday, poets united

overwhelmed
by a feeling of devastion
hanging on
by a mere gossamer thread
poised over a bonfire
ready to plummet
the flames licking at my ankles
it would only take a pebble
to push me over the edge


a dream a nightmare
and you  there chained to me
we ride to nowhere
imprisoned by each other
in our eternal embrace
Posted by at

44 comments:

  1. Adas AlcoveNovember 5, 2014 at 12:53 AM

    Haunting!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Bastet's Waka LibraryNovember 5, 2014 at 1:51 AM

    Oh my ... some relationships can seem like that .... breath-taking as in suffocating. Great tanka though.

    ReplyDelete
  3. rallentandaNovember 5, 2014 at 1:55 AM

    Tried to make it fit the Poe genre!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Jae RoseNovember 5, 2014 at 4:23 AM

    Hold onto that little pebble....maybe embrace it harder than the nightmare...beautiful piece Rallentanda...I say that as one who does not embrace pebbles herself

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. rallentandaNovember 5, 2014 at 5:20 AM

      Just call me Lady Bountiful, I embrace pebbles, thorns ,nightmares or anything entirely unsuitable:)

      Delete
    2. Jae RoseNovember 6, 2014 at 2:42 AM

      That's probably why we get along (albeit across the blog waves!) ;)

      Delete
    3. rallentandaNovember 6, 2014 at 5:09 AM

      We get along because you are witty and have a sense of humour.

      Delete
  5. UnknownNovember 5, 2014 at 4:48 AM

    There is a nightmarish feeling to this well written poem

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. rallentandaNovember 5, 2014 at 5:18 AM

      Thanks...it is based on an Edgar Alan Poe. I have never written a scary poem before.

      Delete
    2. UnknownNovember 5, 2014 at 4:53 PM

      you did it well. I hadnt seen the Poe prompt until now. You grasped at that deep meaning

      Delete
  6. totomaiNovember 5, 2014 at 5:21 AM

    at least someone's embracing that unknown journey...

    ReplyDelete
  7. SusanNovember 5, 2014 at 5:27 AM

    Whew! You have met Poe's dark psychological landscapes, and then some. The bonfire reminds me of Puritan lectures about how only God's mercy keeps us from Hellfire- but here the dream is more benign and the music sustains the suspension. Inside the poem I find I fear more for the fate of the one chained to me. What an arresting image:
    "we ride to nowhere
    imprisoned by each other
    in our eternal embrace"

    ReplyDelete
  8. UnknownNovember 5, 2014 at 6:15 AM

    my poem is more on the nightmare side like yours. Sadly there are real bonfires with people in them

    ReplyDelete
  9. Sheilagh LeeNovember 5, 2014 at 8:58 AM

    beautiful but very sad

    ReplyDelete
  10. PirateGunnNovember 5, 2014 at 10:02 AM

    Tragical - hard to comment..

    ReplyDelete
  11. PeggyNovember 5, 2014 at 10:41 AM

    A striking poem. You certainly captured the nightmare feeling.

    ReplyDelete
  12. alan1704November 5, 2014 at 10:53 AM

    The edge is where we find it and sometimes it is quite awesome. This makes you think.

    ReplyDelete
  13. elaine November 5, 2014 at 11:02 AM

    I liked the idea of a lovers embrace - very romantic in a nightmare kind of way

    ReplyDelete
  14. Sherry Blue SkyNovember 5, 2014 at 12:01 PM

    Oy, one feels the teetering on the lip of the flames. Powerfully written.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Gillena CoxNovember 5, 2014 at 12:16 PM

    That pebble seems as light as a feather, a fine write, i could feel the desperation, have a good Wednesday

    Much love...

    ReplyDelete
  16. brudbergNovember 5, 2014 at 12:40 PM

    A dream within a nightmare... that's very haunting indeed, some embraces are like a kiss of death

    ReplyDelete
  17. Helen A. HowellNovember 5, 2014 at 1:08 PM

    Some relationships carry heavy chains, I liked the dark quality of this poem.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Old EggNovember 5, 2014 at 1:51 PM

    I wonder whether would be best to to have that nightmare alone or with someone clinging on, well chained in fact as though it was a punishment. I would prefer to answer for myself without someone else blabbing at my side!

    ReplyDelete
  19. AnonymousNovember 5, 2014 at 4:18 PM

    very nice "

    ReplyDelete
  20. SaravNovember 5, 2014 at 4:47 PM

    Wow! Quite an image and intense emotions in this. Love how you pulled the pebble into it so eloquently :-) Great write!

    ReplyDelete
  21. AnonymousNovember 5, 2014 at 5:04 PM

    The music here is perfect for your piece --
    Have felt that ride to nowhere before ...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. rallentandaNovember 5, 2014 at 6:58 PM

      Glad you noticed the sychronicity with the music...sensitive and insightful comment.

      Delete
  22. humbirdNovember 5, 2014 at 7:04 PM

    This brings me the thought of chain connection between all of us...one's responsibility for all ~ feels like in glimmering flame....haunting image

    ReplyDelete
  23. Sumana RoyNovember 5, 2014 at 7:51 PM

    unfortunately some situations in life could create this macabre feel...but when read in a poem it's utterly enjoyable...

    ReplyDelete
  24. LocomenteNovember 5, 2014 at 9:29 PM

    Wow! Those 5 lines are beyond articulation...
    Spellbound!

    ReplyDelete
  25. Amrit SinhaNovember 5, 2014 at 10:03 PM

    Beautiful poem ... these lines are my favourite - "it would only take a pebble
    to push me over the edge "

    ReplyDelete
  26. UnknownNovember 5, 2014 at 10:29 PM

    Haunting and yet the music is almost mocking...tragic and dark but it lingers and that is art.

    ReplyDelete
  27. RallentandaNovember 6, 2014 at 1:14 AM

    Merci ma puce. C'est gentil a toi ! The music speaks...it's French:)

    ReplyDelete
  28. UnknownNovember 6, 2014 at 1:26 AM

    Rallentanda, very strong emotions aroused!

    ReplyDelete
  29. BerowneNovember 6, 2014 at 1:54 AM

    Beautifully written, and quite moving...

    ReplyDelete
  30. MarkNovember 6, 2014 at 2:56 AM

    To be chained to someone is, well, hell!

    From the Raven’s Beak

    ReplyDelete
  31. Gen Giggles November 6, 2014 at 4:24 AM

    Oh that felt like a spider talking. Very well written.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Myrna R.November 6, 2014 at 7:59 AM

    The words are mysterious. It could be lovers embraced or the embrace of death. I love the poem, and the music in the background enhances it wonderfully.

    ReplyDelete
  33. artbyraeNovember 8, 2014 at 7:59 PM

    what a poetic picture you paint

    ReplyDelete
  34. CifarNovember 9, 2014 at 12:10 AM

    beautifully written combining different prompts

    Pebbles

    ReplyDelete
  35. ChèvrefeuilleNovember 10, 2014 at 7:24 PM

    Gorgeous poem

    ReplyDelete
  36. Donna SmithNovember 11, 2014 at 5:41 AM

    I think I would be trying to wake up from this dream...
    whatever it took.

    ReplyDelete
  37. IntelliblogNovember 11, 2014 at 3:05 PM

    Delightful poem, Rall! One of your best that I have read, I think! :-)
    And the Sicilienne is just wonderful!

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)