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aging santa finds xmas
intolerable
rummaging through letters of demands
from disturbed kids and deranged adults
more preposterous each year
Dear Santa
If you leave a new bike under the tree
I will give you the antidote to the poison
I put in the milk
Timmy
stricken with arthritis
and finding it difficult
to squeeze down chimneys
he hit the bottle
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he was becoming quite blunt
and a lot less jolly
ho ho ho
bloomin' this bloomin' that
whine whine whine
some nights
he was so drunk and lethargic
he would collapse into his chair
all he wanted in life was peace and quiet
to be tucked up in his cosy warm bed
to dream of someone bringing him a
hot pot of tea and breakfast
with even a christmas kiss
thrown in for good measure
oops
" i saw mommy kissing santa claus "
to dream
of the sun
and his new red board shorts
(present from rudolph and his mates)
when he crosses the equator
woo hoo !
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL !
oh dear the poor guy!!!
ReplyDeletehave a nice Wednesday
much love...
It is a very pressured job being a modern day Santa :)
DeleteMiserable old Santa - what a hoot.
ReplyDeleteThanks.
DeleteI love Raymond Briggs - and I love this...I'm undecided he only has to work one night a year but to do that for all eternity...hmm...I'd be hitting the sauce too..nice to be back at your spot! Hope you are well xo
ReplyDeleteHa... you remember Raymond Briggs....yes love him too. !! It is 2 nights really because he has to do the southern hemisphere first...we being the leaders of time (smirk )
ReplyDeleteTough job these days...what with all the porn and death threats he receives....Santa's little helpers all want award wages with overtime....so he let them go....now just him and Rudolph who got into trouble for trying to murder a hunter who killed his Aunty !:)
If I was Santa, I'd hit the bottle too.
ReplyDeletePoor Santa but these are wonderful
ReplyDeleteLOL I enjoyed this. I have often thought about celebrating Christmas in the middle of summer like in the Southern Hemisphere. A whole different feel from the snowy idea. I live in a mild winter area (S California) where near-beach weather is the holiday standard but I still think of it as a wintry holiday.
ReplyDeleteNow where is dear old Mrs. Claus?
ReplyDeleteShe ran off with one of the elves.
DeleteTrouble is no one else wants the job as he goes to Australia and New Zealand first and gets all hot and sweaty.
ReplyDeleteMarry Christmas to you to, celebration starts early for this santa
ReplyDeleteQuiet Always
Being Santa is, it appears, a thankless job!
ReplyDeleteOh ho! Poor santa! Lovely poem...
ReplyDelete… very funny.
ReplyDeleteHaha... I enjoyed reading this post. And the pictures are too apt with your poem :)
ReplyDelete