Rallentanda

Rallentanda

Friday, May 16, 2014

For The Weekend







it was taking on a juggernaut
thousands of years old

we thought we could do it
and win
in tandem

we did for a long time
but it was inevitable
 
you would weaken

and i now too spent
to carry the burden of us
any longer

drop the load into the sea
where we will sink together

17 comments:

  1. This was my story. Even the strong cannot carry the load indefinitely. Everyone needs help at some stage.

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  2. Poignant ... very beautifully expressed.

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  3. it's impossible that one carries the load alone - it may work for a certain time but...

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  4. Know when to ask for help. Know when to drop the bundle.

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  5. a very poignant write...and i like the word 'together' here...

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  6. Hard to carry a load or burden for a long time ~ The ending though may be inevitable ~

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  7. a pyrrhic victory it would be...
    you have to know when to press on...and when to give up
    for the greater good....

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  8. The togetherness in this world is needed.. Or we sink together.. Maybe carry less would be better?

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  9. One cannot hold the sky forever. I like that you maintain the "we" throughout, even at the end when it dissipates

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  10. "In tandem" is so fine that, having been there for a long time, one could let go without throwing the love into the sea as well, without regret, without guilt. On the other hand, perhaps, tandem after tandem, we could flow in relay and know someone is picking up and carrying on.

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  11. to sink together, to be together forever in every situation :)

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  12. This poem made me think of a couple where one is doing all the work while the other is just sitting pretty. Nice way of expressing it. Not straightforward but in a beautifully crafted way. 5 Stars!!!

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  13. I so relate to this, the feeling of carrying the heavy load on one's own......"and I now too spent to carry the burden of us any longer"....so well expressed.

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  14. hard enough to carry one's own burden without someone else expecting one to carry there share too.

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  15. A juggernaut thousands of years old . . . That's got to be life as a human . . . No wonder this evokes a feeling of panic as I read it . . .

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