A donsy means a gatherng or group especially of small beings
there was a goldfish called fonzy
who missed his mates from his donsy
they took off to evolve
thought their problems all solved
sadly discovered t'was dangerous out there
stalked by demons with fake orange hair
armed with gold bricks and sharpened golf sticks
slow witted destructive and unbelievably thick
fishies my dears don't bother to evolve
best swim in your bowls and search for your souls
don't think for a minute of swimming in ponds
they tried that before and got it all wrong
Hi Rall - probably best ... fun to see though. Great take on the word and your poem - well done - cheers Hilary
ReplyDeleteI like your poem Rall - sweet 'fishies' just missing their gnomes đŸ’•
ReplyDeleteRall,
ReplyDeleteYou had me at “a goldfish called Fonzy,” but I stayed for the sly satire smuggled in beneath the rhyme. This might read like light nonsense at first glance, but there's something biting behind the grins. Those “demons with fake orange hair” and “gold bricks and sharpened golf sticks” aren’t subtle, and nor should they be. Gnomes aren't, satire isn't and your poem definitely isn't. There's real craft in keeping the form loose and sing-song while letting the commentary flick its tail.
Your use of enjambment and half-rhymes keep the poem from getting too tidy, which suits your theme of misguided evolution and the perils of ambition. Fonzy's warning not to reach beyond the bowl hits with a kind of absurdist gloom that I can hear bubbling out of the water like a distorted, bubbling John Laurie stating, "we're doomed".
It's a short sharp splash of gnome-punk nihilism. I love it.
Dennis
Loved it, Rall!
ReplyDeleteYvette M Calleiro :-)
http://yvettemcalleiro.blogspot.com
Rall, this is a delight! I wrote a scathing political take and then decided I wouldn't publish it and instead went another direction! Your poem however combines imagination and courage in equal portions. Bravo!!
ReplyDeleteclever! and nice to meet you :)
ReplyDeleteRall - brilliant limerick storytelling! Poor Fonzy's tale captures that eternal tension between safety and growth beautifully. Though I wonder if those brave fishies might find their courage worth the risk - sometimes the pond holds surprises too.
ReplyDeletegot a chuckle and smile here!
ReplyDeleteA good point expressed with much aplomb and a healthy dose of wryness - thanks also for the new word! Jae
ReplyDeleteRall, I really feel the bite behind the whimsy—“demons with fake orange hair” lands like a sly punch. Beneath the fish tale, there's some serious satire swimming just below the surface.
ReplyDeleteMuch love,
David
SkepticsKaddish.com
Right on! I am with you on deterring any further evolution!
ReplyDelete