as he took his little
jaunt around the park
leaving a few coins
in the sand pit to delight
some children
he sat upon a swing
thinking he was alone
and quietly wept
she could not tell him
his tears were wasted
not yet
her love for him is
much more than a sand castle
washed away by tide
Profound. Done wonderefully
ReplyDeleteThank you RP
Deletevery effective chain of senryu, Rallentanda.
ReplyDeleteThanks Grapeling
DeleteOh wow this is absolutely superb
ReplyDeleteThank you MLM
DeleteThat is really, really nice.
ReplyDeleteThere is something about the second verse that sounds familiar...
Oh dear.. Did you really believe those silver coins you found in your sand play pit were from the Sugar Plum Fairy.Sorry to be the one to break the news.
ReplyDeleteI thought I was really, really rich. (*sigh*)
DeleteMind you, I have seen parents on their hands and knees scraping through the tan-bark, looking for missed coins.
Expensive watches and drive BMWS...I bet!
DeleteLove has to be much stronger....!! Reminded me of 'The three little pigs' story!! Not hay, not sticks and stones and neither sand!!
ReplyDeleteYes..love is the ever fixed mark which survives tempests.
DeleteWonderful words and great pics!
ReplyDeleteThanks Charles
DeleteVery beautiful.
ReplyDeleteSo pleased you enjoyed this one Doddles.
DeleteI did, so succinct and profound. You are a very talented poet, wild primrose.
DeleteOne observation, if I may. Tears are rarely wasted when they are for others. They are a form of prayer and are always heard.
A poetic response from a dear old Bird x
DeleteBeautiful.
ReplyDeleteLovely. Touches the heart.!
ReplyDelete